That happened and so I am here

Posted: Wednesday 6th July 2022

“That happened and so I’m here"
 
Our past often seems to define us, and by extension, define our future. We learn from our experiences what causes pain, and what causes pleasure. The fire burns me – but after a while, we also conclude “I am a person who gets burnt by fire”. This is the way our brains keep us safe, by sorting bits of information about the environment and how it affects us, and then extending that to a working model of who we are.
 
Most of the time, this works out perfectly well. “Solving math problems gives me pleasure. I’m the one who is great at math.” But every now and again we’ve formed a self-limiting belief. “I’m awkward around people/ I can’t boil an egg/ I can’t draw to save my life.”
 
The environment from which these beliefs sprouted has long since faded away into the past. Maybe we can remember bits and pieces of those far off events; but those memories only seem to reinforce the idea that because that happened then, I am this person now. Cause and effect.
 
The beauty of BWRT is that it delinks this assumption. True, that happened then. But who you are is always a work-in-progress. You choose how you want to respond from this moment forward. Of course, we cannot always control the environment; but we can control how we are within it, and who we are within it.
 
And that’s why, at the conclusion of therapy, a client could recently say to me: “That happened. I am here. “